the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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