gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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