You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
