I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize