We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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