very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
