maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
