I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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