she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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