Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
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I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
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I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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