I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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