did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
