She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Come on in and take your pants off
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