Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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