What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
