Non-Jews are for practice
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
