My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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