I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
