i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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