He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
