It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
