FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
