he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
