so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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