apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
