Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I cannot find my penis.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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