Your dad touched me again.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
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I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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