i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all