I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast