I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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