So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
