Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!