on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
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I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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