Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
