I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
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