exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Randomize
