Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
