Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I will be naked everywhere
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
