Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
