Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
