11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
