Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
