pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
