I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
