Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize