i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Shame - the story of my life.
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