I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize