there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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