worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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