Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
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