you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
