I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
