WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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