Do you still have your period?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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