I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
