ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
