Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
