Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
