I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
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