Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
