is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
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He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
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Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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