I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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