yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
