He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
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