Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
