it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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