Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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