This girl is more easily done than said...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
