If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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