Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize