I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
