Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
